Frerard - Antropophobia - Chapter 1

I slung my torn schoolbag over my shoulder before venturing outside. The wind was stronger than usual and decided it would part leaves from each other, just to throw them at me.

"Hey dickhead!" Pete was suddenly beside me, picking a crispy leaf from my knotted black hair.

"I told you to stop calling him names!" Patrick rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses up further onto his nose and hugging me. He always seemed to be hugging me, but I didn't mind; I felt safe in his arms.

Pete laughed and kissed Patrick's forehead briefly. "He can't complain."

Rolling my eyes, I stuck out my tongue at him and gestured for us to continue walking. We always walked to school together and I enjoyed listening to the two of them communicate. Sometimes Pete would giggle and it was amazing to know that Patrick had the ability to make the badass-punk-rock-emo-with-extensive-amounts-of-eyeliner do that.

"Gerard's coming to the school today." Pete nudged me gently, noticing I was zoned out as usual. "Just so you know, since he'll be hanging around with us."

I nodded, tilting my lips up slightly at the corners. He had told me about Gerard, but I couldn't quite remember what exactly had been said. It was something about him moving to our school because Pete was his best friend and he had none in his old school.

"He's nice." Patrick smiled, kicking at the leaves on the path as we drew nearer to the school. "I've met him a good few times and he's basically a gayer version of Pete. He smokes and all."

Pete gasped, feigning hurt. "Nobody is gayer than me!"

"No honey.." Another voice joined our group and I beamed up at him. "Nobody is gayer than me."

"Hey, Ry." Patrick laughed, "That's very true."

Ryan pulled me into a tight hug. "Hey, Frankie. How are you?"

I wrapped my arms around his waist and nodded slightly, inhaling his scent of lavender. He always smelled so good and I wondered how often he actually showered.. Definetely more than my twice a week.

"You're not his mother, Ryan. You don't have to ask him if he's okay every single morning." Pete sighed. The two of them often bickered and it annoyed me and Patrick so much.

Ryan furrowed his eyebrows and glared at the teenager with raccoon eyes. "At least I ask him. What do you do? Insult him?"
Oh god, not this again.

I bit my lip and pushed the boy in the waistcoat back slightly, shaking my head. He breathed slowly and nodded, smiling at me.
"Sorry, sweetheart."

Pete kicked his locker in anger, causing a few people to look over in shock. "For fuck sake! He has a disorder and you all look at him like he's about to fall apart at any second-"

"Enough Pete!" Patrick warned his boyfriend with a hand on his chest.
Was that really how he felt?

Putting my hands up in defeat, I clasped the straps of my bag and hurried down the corridor to get to my next class. None of my friends had English with me, so they ended up not following.

It hurt a bit.

Maybe a lot of bit.

God, I hated them all.

Even Ryan?

I sighed and slumped into my seat at the back, before squealing slightly and falling back onto the ground.

Way to play it cool.

The boy who had caused my fright gasped and quickly helped me back into my chair. I swatted him away and glared, pulling my sleeves over my hands as I always did when I was uncomfortable or nervous.

"Shit, I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Shit.. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm Gerard." He held out his hand to me with an awkward smile.

So this was the Gerard everyone gushed about.

He was good looking.

No he's not.

Don't shake his hand.

That one act symbolises acquaintance and I can't afford to make any more friends.

Alone.

So alone.

I sighed and folded my arms before resting my head on them. Fuck him. I didn't care if he was Pete's best friend.. He frightened the shit out of me.

He's good looking.

No he's not.. Shut up!

"I am really sorry. Can you at least tell me your name?" His voice was soft and sincere.

Blowing out a long, ragged breath, I chose to ignore him.

He would just leave like the others.

Alone.

"I guess you're not much of a talker th-" Gerard froze and it made me look up to see if the teacher had entered. I frowned, seeing the classroom chatting away as usual and turned back to the other teenager who was staring at me. "Are you Frank? Pete's friend?"

Nodding slowly, I deflated back onto the table. So he had heard about me already? Fantastic.

Thanks Pete.

Why don't you just go ahead and tell everyone my personal problems?

"He told me about you. Him and Patrick. I mean, all he said is that you're one of his best friends and you don't.. Exactly.. Speak." Gerard sighed and cursed silently. "Im sorry, you clearly don't want to talk to me.. I'll leave you alone."

I peeked a quick glance at him through my fingers. He was smiling softly at me past his shoulder-length, black hair. My heart began to flutter.

-

"He's having one of his moods.. Just leave him." Pete rolled his eyes at me before sitting down with his tray of shitty canteen food.

I unfolded my arms and flipped him off before walking out of the room.

Walk.

Don't run.

People will look if you run.. And you're by yourself.

Alone.

I heard footsteps advancing quickly behind me as I entered the bathroom. They were probably someone else's friends who actually cared about them.

"Frank!"

My heart soared lightly, knowing that someone had come after me. I looked away from the sink I was resting on to see Ryan and Patrick slightly out of breath.

"I don't know what's gotten into him." Patrick sighed. "I'm really sorry."

"He's a bitch." Ryan shrugged, earning a small smile from me. "Come on back and sit down with us, please? I already got your food, sweetheart."

Biting my lip, I looked down at my belly and poked it softly. It jiggled and I shuddered.

But fuck; I was hungry.

-

"So am I going to get any back-up story on why Frank doesn't talk?" Gerard put down down his knife and fork, grimacing at his plate.
"I'm not trying to pry, and I don't mind if you don't want me to know."

I blushed and looked down. Why did he want to know?

Pete sighed. "Let's just go smoke."

"No, shut up. Stop being a dick, Pete."

Pete blanched and gripped his fork tighter; causing his knuckles to turn white.

Wow.

Oh my god.

I looked up with wide eyes. Had he really just-

"Should we tell him, sweetheart?" Ryan raised an eyebrow at Gerard, trying to figure out what his intentions were.
After staring at Gerard's sparkling eyes for a few minutes, I nodded slowly.

"I'll just tell him the basics, sweetheart." Ryan placed a reassuring hand on my knee before turning back to the eager boy. "Frank has Borderline Personality Disorder. It takes over his life and it's just really hard for him to deal with. His mood can change in a second."

You don't say.

"Like bipolar?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess-"

Pete stood up suddenly. "Come on, Gerard."

Gerard nodded, sighing dramatically. "Okay, fine. I don't want to know any more anyways.."

What?

Alone.

He smiled at me. "I want you to show me yourself when you feel comfortable enough around me. That's how I'll know you trust me."

Oh.

Oh, ok.

Um..

Gerard stood up and made to follow Pete, when he suddenly froze. I nervously fidgeted with my hands as I watched him lean down on the table.. Dangerously close to me.

"Can I take you out somewhere?"

Slow down there.

I looked up at him with wide eyes, opening and closing my mouth like a goddamn fish.

Yes.

Please god yes.

Shut up, Frank. You'll just get hurt again.

Sighing, I shook my head slowly.

"Your body is betraying you, Frankie." Gerard smirked. "I can read people, you see. It's a little talent I picked up."

I gulped and clasped Ryan's hand on my knee tightly. He squeezed back reassuringly.

Oh shit.

Gerard bit his lip and stood back, scuffing his shoe awkwardly against the table leg. "Are you two together?"

"Gosh, no!" Ryan burst out laughing, earning a glare from me. "He's single."

Alone.

"Good." He grinned. "Then can I take you out tonight?"

I shook my head before my body could resist.

Please do.

I don't want to be alone.

"That's fine; I like a challenge. I'll get you to come with me yet!"

He sauntered off after a pissy Pete, leaving me with my two giggling friends. I noticed that I was vaguely clutching at my chest as my heart pounded.

"You like him back!" Ryan gasped. "Patrick; he has an actual crush!"

I shook my head voilently and jumped with a squeak as my phone buzzed.

Unknown- I'm sorry if you think I'm a creep for asking you out since we barely know each other. I don't mean like a date though.. I'd like to get to know you. You can ask Pete whether or not I'm a serial killer if it makes you happy.

Gerard- Okay, maybe it was like a date. You're beautiful.

I felt my hands drift to the flab on my stomach.

Gerard- Not that beauty matters to me.. I couldn't care less.

Gerard- Just one meal?

Ryan grabbed my phone and began typing on it. I let him, knowing from experience that there was no point fighting him over it.
I raised an eyebrow as he handed it back to me, before checking the message he sent to Gerard.

F- This is Ryan. Frank also refuses to text people. He won't talk, text or write messages so don't even try. I'll explain later.

-

"Gerard, over here!"

I scowled at Ryan as he called the older teenager over. He grinned at us and gave a small wave before sitting down beside me.

"Hi, Frank." He said softly, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. He seemed almost nervous.

I smiled lightly at him, blushing and looking at the page in front of me. We were in art class.. And the three of us sat at the back of it.
Blocking out the cheerful conversation between the two, I continued with my drawing. It showed a boy curled up on the floor with the word 'alone' written hundreds of times all over the page.

Feeling Gerard's eyes on me, I shut my notebook. It was full of the same type of pictures.. All of which expressed my loneliness.

Alone.

Private.

You're so fucked up, Frank!

Get a hold of yourself.

Gerard was gorgeous. Shit he was!

I knew what to do. It was risky and stupid.. But I couldn't live in fear forever, right?

I stared at Ryan until he felt my gaze and frowned at me. I began to point at my throat.

"What's he doing?" Gerard frowned, gazing at me with evident worry that caused my insides to squirm.

"He wants to say something." Ryan smiled. "He can't go his whole life without speaking so we have a few signals. Go ahead, sweetheart."

I pointed at Gerard, then at me. Ryan nodded and I made a square with my two thumbs and index fingers.

Ryan smirked and looked at a confused Gerard. "He wants you to go to his house."